A Phone Play in 1 (Short) Act

Since buying a house we’ve been getting an insane number of telemarketing calls. This is due to a) the house purchase being a public record available to anyone who wants to look up the info, and b) bastard telemarketing firm types who hang out at the county records office harvesting this information. There is no opt-out list either. Most of the time I give the caller a few seconds to identify themselves before requesting our name be removed from their list.

Sometimes the mood strikes me otherwise. This morning was such an occasion.

*ring* (Ugh…who’s calling at 8am?)

Me: Hello? (Yes, it’s a question.)

Dude: Hello, is Sonya Martinez at home?

Me: No…

Dude: (Cutting me off before I finish) Is this Mr. Martinez?

Me: No, I’m the guy she sleeps with.

Dude: (flummoxed) Er,..I’m so-and-so with…

*click*